men against patriarchy [Copenhagen]

dansk version

We are a group who acknowledges that we, as cis-men, have privileges as the result of patriarchy that must be recognised and dismantled. We meet regularly and try to deconstruct how we have been socialised as men, how we propagate patriarchy daily, and how this affects us as well as those around us. We work towards moving beyond patriarchal masculinities and the behaviours, structures, and attitudes connected to them.

MAP [Cph] was created in December 2020 and we meet every week. Our group was formed because we believe that the issue of how the patriarchy routinely harms people is far too little discussed and dealt with between men. We argue, that vague and noncommittal sympathising with feminist values is far from enough, and is even outright harmful; it is essential for men to consistently do deeper and more (self-)critical work in the struggle against patriarchy. On the basis of collective conversations and sharing of experiences, we seek to recognise and call out our own internalised behaviours of patriarchal masculinity. We actively articulate them and develop tools for deconstructing and dismantling them within ourselves and society. Our meetings form the foundation for the work that we must do in our everyday lives.

We recognise that the struggle against patriarchy should not be led by cis-men like ourselves (and of course it isn’t!), but by the people who have been most targeted and oppressed by patriarchy, including but not limited to the LGBTQIA2S+ movement. We need, first and foremost, to listen to and understand the experiences of these groups with humility and care, and to act on what they are saying.

Our meetings try to cultivate a space for normalising (individual and group) accountability, vulnerability, and emotional labour. However, this must be placed in a critical and intersectional context, as there is the danger of encouraging liberal and individualist politics which masks the power relations of patriarchy. That said, we consider love to be fundamental. We believe in the need for cis-men to develop more loving, caring, and trusting relationships. We aim, as a group, to become engaged in and support activism in our community that works to fight the patriarchy. We will share whatever tools and collective knowledge we gain and hope to annoy more men so that we can challenge patriarchal forms of masculinity that are harming the people around us, those we love, our political movements, and our communities.

MAP [Cph] understands and acknowledges:

• that we are products of the patriarchy and that we reproduce it daily, which is why self-critique and developing self-awareness is crucial work for MAP.

• that we will make mistakes, which is why it is crucial for us to be open to criticism, to reflect on it, and incorporate it when necessary.

• that our work must be informed and inspired by the work done before us by activists and academics from the feminist and LGBTQIA2S+ movements. We did not invent this conversation. This group comes after many calls for men to do the work of being accountable and educating themselves.

• the hesitance of other groups towards a group of men getting together and “intellectualising” the patriarchy away. We don’t “solve” patriarchy in our meetings: rather, we recognise our responsibility to bring ourselves into the continuous work of dismantling our own patriarchy. We are not here for taking credit or (pro)feminist trophies but to do necessary and long-overdue work. There is no point at which this kind of work is finished, it should be a lifelong commitment.

• that we also need to be politically active, to question and challenge other men, and support local queer feminist groups without taking space. We understand that our work is necessary but not sufficient to cultivating a healthy and caring form of masculinity that doesn’t harm the people around us.

• that privileges are also gained beyond gender; class, race, ableism, and sexuality are all structures of power. We believe that intersectionality is focal for dismantling our privileges as men.

MAP [Cph] consists of people from various cultural backgrounds, but based in Copenhagen, Denmark.